Weddings Made Simple
Planning a wedding shouldn't leave you confused.
This is a comprehensive guide of "How-to's" to Malay weddings.
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What This Guide is About

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Provide Guidance
Serve as a one stop reference checklist on everything related to preparation, event planning and "To-dos" for your special day.
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Peace of Mind
Being lost is a terrible feeling. This aims to give you peace of mind and ease wedding anxiety for you and your to-be partner.
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Sharing is Caring
We and many others have been in your shoes. We're giving away this guide for free, so please do share it with others who may need it.

Step 0: Preparation

The Right Mindset
The important conversations you'll need to work through with your partner and parents.
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Number of Events?
Decide whether or not you'll be having any or all of the Berbedak, Nikah and Sanding events.
Budgeting
Don't loan yourself to oblivion. Decide what's your wedding budget and plan ahead with your partner.
⌚ The earlier the better
Pick a Date
Whether it's in 1 month or 1 year's time. Make sure to pick a date where most of your family members will be available.
Assemble the A-Team
Get your relatives who will be part of the wedding to be involved early, starting in the planning stages.
Ready your Aturcara Majlis
Prepare your Aturcara Majlis aka your wedding program that dictates the wedding flow during the day itself.
Wedding Expos
Keep an eye out for wedding expos happening near you. Those are perfect times to get sweet deals.
⌚ At least 1 year before
Belanja Hangus?
Typically BND$3-5k. This will belong to the bride. She can use it to pay for wedding expenses from her side.
⌚ The earlier the better
Mas Kahwin
Typically BND$300-500 but do discuss this with the bride's parents. This will belong to the bride.
⌚ The earlier the better

Step 1: Sourcing All The Things

Sourcing a Venue
One of the most important things to work on finding where you'll be getting married! This is better reserved at least 1 year in advance.
⌚ At least 1 year before
Sourcing Catering
What's a wedding without good food? Here's how catering works and choose which you'll see fit for your wedding.
⌚ At least 1 year before
Sourcing Pelamin
Pelamin aka the main stage and decor where you and your partner will spend most of your time on.
⌚ At least 10 months before
Sourcing Outfits
We all want to look good on our most special day right? Here's what you'll need to consider when picking.
⌚ At least 10 months before
Sourcing MUAs
MUAs aka "Make Up Artists" are essential to give you that King & Queen of the day look for your wedding.
⌚ At least 10 months before
Sourcing PhotoVideo
Imagine having your grandest wedding but no proper picture or video... Here's what to look for in a vendor.
⌚ At least 8 months before
Sourcing Campurs
Campurs are essentially goodie bags for your guests. Can't leave them empty handed!
⌚ At least 8 months before
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Sourcing Gubahan
Gubahan are arrangements of your Hantaran wedding gifts. You should find experts in this area to craft them for you.
⌚ At least 8 months before
Sourcing Jemputan
Jemputan aka your wedding invites. You may opt for a simple DIY or from vendors that can specially design them for you.
⌚ At least 8 months before
Sourcing Emcee
How will people know the event flow or what's going on during the event? That's where emcees come in to lead the way.
⌚ At least 6 months before
Sourcing Cake
This is for your main wedding cake. Be it 2 or 3 stories. It would be best if you can book early depending on baker's availability.
⌚ At least 6 months before
Sourcing Accesorries
Accessories can include crown, brooch, necklace, Keris, bridal flower. These may be rented separately to complete your look!
⌚ At least 6 months before
Sourcing Hantaran Items
Hantaran aka the dowry would be what you'll be spending the most time picking to be presented during the event.
⌚ At least 1 a month until quota reached
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Sourcing Bedak 7 Warna
You can find your bedak at Tamu Kianggeh. They are multicolored and usually sold in bundle with lulur.
⌚ At least 2 weeks before
Sourcing Miscellaneous Stuff
When in doubt, try Tamu Kianggeh or Sumbangsih for all your wedding prep needs. Happy Star for gift bags.
⌚ The earlier the better. NO last minute things!

Step 2: Pre-wedding Things

Get your Forms
Visit your district's Jabatan Ugama to get your forms. To be done and submitted to the Syariah court in due time.
⌚ At least 3 months before
Book your Penganggun
Your Penganggun aka wedding attendant can be a relative or better yet a professional that will help guide you.
⌚ At least 3 months before (1 month if relative)
Pre-wedding Photoshoot
Though not an essential, you can opt to do a pre-wedding photoshoot to capture the excitement leading up to the day.
⌚ At least 2 months before
Kursus Kahwin
Take your Kursus Kahwin aka marriage course. This will walk you through the do's and don'ts in a Muslim marriage
⌚ At least 2 months before
Book your Imam
Get your imam ready and make sure he's available for your date. You can ask one from your local mosque or community.
⌚ At least 1 month before
Prepare Jemputan
You've got your invites printed out. Time to start sending them. Here are some invite etiquettes you can follow.
⌚ At least 1 month before
Prepare Campurs
You've got your door gifts. Now it's time to do counting, sorting and packing them for your events evenly.
⌚ At least 3 weeks before
Prepare Outfits
Get all your measurements and fittings ready when it gets closer to the date of each events. Control your weight gain!
⌚ At least 1 week before
Prepare Theme Songs
Your emcee will ask you for songs to be played during the grand entrance of your Sanding event. Give it some thought.
⌚ At least 1 week before
Practice Your Lafaz Akad Nikah
For the groom, practice your Lafaz Akad Nikah. "Aku terima nikahnya...", yes that line. You'll have to memorize this by heart
⌚ At least 1 week before
Take Rehearsal Seriously
Whether you've done it once or a thousand times. Get all your AJKs to rehearse once to ensure smoothness.
⌚ At least 1 day before
Malam Berjaga-Jaga
Plan for your Malam Berjaga-Jaga aka the night before the wedding. Make it a time for fun and festivity with the families.

Step 3: Berbedak Things

Berbedak 101
What is Berbedak? Why is it essential? And what does it mean to have it on both sides, one side or none.
Check Your Wearables
You'll be wearing your traditional berbedak attire which consists of several wearable pieces. Make sure it's all there.
⌚ At least 1 day before
Make Up Anxiety
Ask your MUA to come extra early, 2-3 hours before for the groom and 3-4 hours before for the bride.
Making your Entrance
Walk with slow, steady pace accompanied by your Penganggun. Look around and wave. Make sure to smile.
Rest of the Time
Sit comfortably on the throne. Place your hands palms up on your lap. Be ready to receive your bedak and dry flowers

Step 4: Nikah Things

Nikah 101
What is Nikah? Why is it essential? And why this is considered the most important part when getting married.
Rehearse your Lafaz
Pretty much the most important part for the groom. Be sure to remember your Lafaz Akad Nikah by heart.
⌚ At least a few times that day
Understanding the Khutbah
The imam will recite the marriage sermon. As the groom, nod and follow along to instructions and you'll be fine.
Membatalkan Wudhu
The imam will direct the groom to place his hand on the bride's head. The groom will recite prayer following the imam.

Step 5: Sanding Things

Sanding 101
What is Sanding? Why is it essential? And why you may want to consider combining Nikah and Sanding together.
Preparation
This is the event with the biggest crowd and all eyes are on you. Best to get a good night's sleep beforehand.
Make Up Anxiety
Ask your MUA to come extra early, 2-3 hours before for the groom and 3-4 hours before for the bride.
Making your Entrance
Walk with slow, steady pace accompanied by your bride. Look around and wave. Make sure to smile.
Rest of the Time
Act natural. Your guests will be busy eating. Layan your wedding guests who comes to take pictures with you.
Receiving Money
Some guests will come to personally hand money to you. Prepare a small box hidden in your pelamin to store it.

Step 6: Post-wedding Things

Post-wedding Photoshoot
Do this after the ceremony is over. You can opt for a different venue like Balai Khazanah, The Empire Hotel, etc.
Honeymooning
You may want to budget out your honeymoon into your wedding cost. We all want to enjoy a newlywed retreat.
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A free, no nonsense guide to Brunei Malay wedding for the clueless... from a former clueless couple 💖.
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Disclaimer: The above are all curated based on our personal experiences. Please confide with a professional to determine what's best for you and your partner.
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